I’m in a super duper good mood right now. Today, I took another step toward living my New Year’s resolutions. I had my first therapy session! I’ve been casually searching for a therapist for a few months because I knew I needed some outside help with managing stress and anxiety, but my search kicked into overdrive after I came to my senses post-TIA (transient ischemic attack). I am very particular with what I am looking for in a therapist, and if I can’t find one I mesh it will only be a waste of my time (and $).

Just before the New Year, I made appointment with the lady I saw today. Let’s call her Ms. Green ( I really need to do an info page on people in my life!). My pre-appointment phone conversation made me feel good, and today’s session confirmed my initial assessment. I think I can feel good about working with Ms. Green, and I think I can open up in a way necessary for real progress. YA! If you knew how funny I really am about people, you would understand the magnitude of this success. This is a big deal.

So, MMXI is getting off to a great start. I’m doing my Yoga, I found a therapist, I am incorporating gratitude into my daily thoughts and blog posts, I am having more fun (however I have been neglecting a few chores much to QB’s chagrin), and I have been living what I love.

There is one person, I still have yet to confront. So, I’m not 100% on my resolutions just yet. I had one confrontation with this person just before the new year, but I just initiated the conflict, I didn’t end it. So, I need to start making progress with this issue because it is starting to cause residual stress from my lack of attention. This isn’t just a problem that cam be swept under the carpet (though I’ve tried for a long time….). Not any more. I’m not going to be passive and non-confrontational on his front.

Anyway, let’s talk about food.

I’ve realized that my “innocent” inclusion of high fiber english muffins is starting to become a problem. I started eating them when I was having appetite problems. It was something I could eat for breakfast (with smart balance lite), and the fiber content was awesome (9 each….wow!). But. They are turning into something I will reach for as a snack, or as dinner, or as breakfast part two….or…. Yeah, you get the idea. The past three days, I’ve eaten 4 muffins each day with the smart balance. Yeah, I’ve been getting tones of fiber, but they are adding up to more calories that I need to get from carby semi-nutritious food items.

I was starting to really get a good thing going before my flu/stroke month with a high-fat healthy diet, but the carbs made their way back in with my appetite issues. I haven’t gone on a carb attack, and been letting my diet flow a bit for stress relieving purposes. But, now the inclusion of more carby products is causing more stress rather than displacing stress, so it is time for them to go-go-go.

So. Today I said farewell to english muffins (as I devoured the last in the house LOL). Tomorrow, I start my day with my favorite yet recently absent smoothie. Yum.

I’m looking forward to a very productive CR year. I’ve learned a lot, I need to put my knowledge to work rather than omnomnom’ing the english muffins. Hey, we can all get lazy at times. My mini-stroke really freaked me out. Talk about a wake up call. So, I had to focus energy on reducing stress before I could put all my energy back into my diet. Baby steps.

Let me end this by stating some gratitude’s before I put down my last day of carb eating nutrition.

Gratitude’s

1: Language. Complex language that let’s us convey thoughts, feelings, ideas, and knowledge. And the ability to understand, speak, and read language. This is something I never thought to be thankful for until I had my mini-stroke. I lost the ability to talk. Lucky, I could still understand language (not true for all stroke victims), but I couldn’t communicate effectively. I felt very helpless, and am lucky I had QB with me.

2: Freedom of Information. While there is a lot of information I wish I could access, there does exist a very large amount of information I DO have access to. Mostly thanks to the internet. I am a compulsive self-educator, and love the fact I have volumes of knowledge at my finger tips.

3: Color. Or, specifically, my ability to perceive the visible spectrum via my eyes. This complex process of my eyes passing information to be interpreted by my brain results in not only a very functional survival tool, but also a form of sense derived pleasure. Sight, what a wonderful “simple” pleasure of life.

…

So, here I am. Two hours left in my shift. Off at 7am, running by Wegmans, then home for a short Yoga session before I crash out.

Tomorrow “morning” starts with a Yoga session and a Berry Hemp Smoothie, or a  Smoothie and a Yoga session depending on how hungry I am when I wake up.

I’ll be listening to my favorite new album by Kanye West “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”. This is a very different but very wonderful and creative musical accomplishment. If you get a chance, watch the 30min short film on his site that was a promotion piece for the album. One of my favorite artist, Bon Iver, works with Kanye in most of the songs! It’s musical genius! People can say what ever about Kanye, but the dude is talented.