Or— I am the decider. :-p

I feel like I have been floundering with what I *really* want to eat, eating things that are less than ideal, and just a general indecisiveness that has been clouding my foodie world. What I have learned about food is that there is no perfect solution. This really does bug me although I try to pretend that it doesn’t. I like concrete answers. I became a math major because I can always find the answer. Similarly with chemisty, my other degree, there are always answers or at least processes to go about finding them.

With food, we can eliminate the obviously bad things pretty easily. Candy? Bad. Chips, processed food that we can’t tell what plant/animal it came from? Bad. Fast food? Bad. These are all pretty easy to “get right”.

Then we move to the next step? For some this is the level “how processed is my food” that is “good” or “bad”, or maybe it’s the choice to be vegetarian or vegan. For me, at different times in my life, I have valued these in different orders. But now? Now, I have (after being reluctant, then open but shy, and always concerned with the right choice and what “right” meant) decided to be solidly vegan AND avoid most processed foods –mainly processed grains.

But with this, I strangely enough want to increase my protein some, decrease my carbs some, and keep or slightly increase my fat levels.

I have realized my fear of picking the “wrong” answer has caused me to be more wishy-washy in diet choices. If I just pick a path, I can be more resolute in my diet decisions, and if I want to change my food around later, I can.

I’ve been iffy to make a stand on carbs, because I haven’t had the motivation to find what I consider the appropriate level of research to back up my decision.  I don’t think I would be saying anything disagreeable by stating that I think processed carbs should be avoided, carbs that cause blood glucose to raise moderately (or even higher) should be avoided, and in general I am really becoming doubtful that even seemingly healthy high carb diets are all that great. Maybe I’m just ready to put down the oatmeal…. :-p

While I think lower protein is good too, I think maybe I should raise mine a bit. To do so, I may start including some tofu. I know there are iffy things about tofu, but frankly right now I don’t think it’s that big of a concern. I think that me eating tofu would be better than me snacking on some of QB’s processes all carb cereal due to wishy washy feelings on….tofu. Ha.

And fat. There must be fat. However, I am still quite afraid of cooked fat for the most part except the inclusion of coconut oil/milk to recipes every now and then because of it’s stability under high heat. So, chia seeds (or maybe other seeds when I get tired of these), flax oil, and of course my wonderful olive oil will be where most of my raw fat comes from.

Which brings me to the raw/cooked. I don’t “believe” in one versus the other, but I have learned why some things are best raw and why some things are ok to cook. I think the ideal is some combination of the two for long term diet success….for me at least. For the sake of keeping my AGE intake low, raw is good, but the vegan helps this too. My fresh daily raw juice is a staple in my diet, and I consider it a must have. I get so many wonderful nutrients and good for you compounds by drinking FRESH RAW carrot, beet, and kale juice (the lemon helps the flavor, if you drink this without the lemon you are braver than I).

Dammit! I want to rule my diet, not let my indecision caused by the fear of imperfection rule me.

My murkiness is why I am prone to snitching off of QB’s plate, or grabbing bites of things I normally wouldn’t do at work. Well, I have decided.

I am vegan. I am not going to consume processed carbs. My meals will contain a little more protein, a little less carbs, and tons of wonderful raw fats. I have decided.

This blog is to serve as an example of someone living the life. This was originally intended to be only a CRON blog, but since I have decided to resume my vegan ways it naturally will play some role. I have decided.

So, this blog will serve as an example of how to live a Calorie Restricted vegan lifestyle,  a very healthy CR-Vegan lifestyle. And, I’ll even admit that I am not perfect, but I won’t lie and say I don’t want to be. I have a job that is busy right now, and if all goes well I will be starting school in the spring, so things will get even busier. I do the best I can, and it won’t always be perfect. But, I want to have a better defined diet and approach to food. All my research in the fall of 2009 made me realize how hard it was to know everything about everything, but that shouldn’t stop me from finding MY path.

Shift work also really messes with my sense of planning. When your schedule always rotates, it doesn’t matter that it rotates in a fixed way, it still takes away any ability to have anything like a normal schedule. You know how things seem more chaotic and less defined on the weekends? Imagine your whole life being like that, even on work days. It’s weird. It’s hard. And, I guess this blog is to show that even someone with such a messed up schedule can push through enough to have control over their diet. It makes me hungrier, I have no set meal times anymore, and I couldn’t eat at the same time each day even if I wanted to. This is just reality, and no it’s not fun. This has so much control over so many areas of my life, but I have decided it will not add to my indecision and excuses with my food choices!

This blog isn’t about indecision. It’s about decision in action!

I decided to start CR, I researched diet, and I even decided to be vegan….again. I know there’s not a perfect way to do it this, but now I have to decide my way. If I listen to everyone else, without defining MY OWN WAY, my own thoughts will get lost in the static.

It’s time to push forward. Serious CR. Serious Vegan. Seriously healthy diet. I should probably put serious green tea drinker in there too. I drink a lot of green tea.

It’s time I have a strong attitude about what I am striving for, what my goals are, and what I believe in. I am a strong believer in CRON, there is no doubt there. But I let the fear of not being able to make the best decision all the time (for lack of info/knowledge/etc) take some of the oomph out of my sails. I wasn’t believing in what I was eating, so eating less than ideal at times didn’t seem as bad. Make sense?

Once you decide you want something, you really have to believe in it! If not, you will be silently undermining your goals. It’s OK if you decided later to change your mind, but don’t live in fear of one day changing your mind. If I have logical evidence that another way is better, then so be it! But until then…

Decide how you want to live. Believe in what you decide. Live what you believe.

Here is our cabin with the fall leaves! How beautiful!